“Have You Considered My Servant?”
There’s a passage in the book of Job that has always been hard to understand—until you live it.
God looks at Satan and says,
“Have you considered my servant Job?”
Not because Job was weak…
But because he was faithful.
Not because he was failing…
But because he was standing firm.
And sometimes, I think about that question in my own life.
Because just one month after we made the decision to come back to church…
just one month after we turned our hearts back toward God…
everything changed.
When Obedience Is Followed by Devastation
We were doing what we knew was right.
We were showing up.
We were leaning in.
We were trying to rebuild our relationship with God.
And then… we lost Maddi.
There’s no way to soften that sentence.
No way to make it hurt less.
It felt like the moment we stepped closer to God…
Satan came after everything we loved.
Not just our peace.
Not just our stability.
But our child.
And since that day, it has felt like attack after attack after attack.
Our family.
Our home.
Our finances.
Our emotions.
Our strength.
From every angle.
Grief itself has been a battle—and sometimes it doesn’t get easier, it gets heavier. I shared more about that in When Grief Feels Worse Instead of Better .
The Kind of Faith That Gets Tested
People don’t always talk about this part.
They talk about blessings.
They talk about breakthrough.
They talk about favor.
But they don’t always talk about what happens when your faith is tested.
Real faith isn’t proven when life is easy.
It’s proven when everything in you wants to walk away…
and you choose to stay.
We have had every reason to turn our backs on God.
Every reason to question Him.
Every reason to be angry.
Every reason to give up.
But we haven’t.
There have been moments we didn’t even know how to pray—and if you’ve ever felt that way, you’re not alone. I wrote more about that in How to Pray When You Can’t.
Satan’s Goal Isn’t Just Pain—It’s Separation
I don’t believe the enemy’s goal was just to hurt us.
His goal was to separate us from God.
To make us bitter.
To make us walk away.
To make us believe that God isn’t good.
Because if he can get us to turn our backs on God…
he wins.
But here’s what he didn’t count on:
We may be broken…
but we’re still standing.
We may cry every day…
but we still pray.
We may not understand…
but we still believe.
What the Enemy Meant for Evil
There are days it feels like everything is being stripped away.
But I hold onto this truth:
God doesn’t waste pain.
Even this.
Even the loss.
Even the attacks.
Somehow, in ways I may not fully understand yet,
God is still working.
Still moving.
Still holding us together when we feel like we’re falling apart.
Even now, I’m learning what it means to rest in Him in the middle of the storm. I talk more about that in Finding Rest in Life’s Storms .
Refusing to Let Go of God
We have made a decision as a family:
We will not turn our backs on God.
No matter how hard it gets.
No matter how heavy it feels.
No matter how many attacks come.
Because walking away from Him won’t bring Maddi back.
It won’t heal the pain.
It won’t restore what’s been lost.
But staying with Him…
That’s where our hope is.
That’s where our strength is.
That’s where we will find the peace we’re still searching for.
If You Feel Like You’re Under Attack
If you’re reading this and it feels like everything started falling apart when you got closer to God…
You’re not crazy.
You’re not alone.
And you’re not being punished.
Sometimes, your faith makes you a target.
But it also makes you a threat to the enemy.
And maybe—just maybe—
God is still saying,
“Have you considered my servant?”
Not because He wants to hurt you…
But because He knows you won’t let go.
A Prayer for Strength in the Battle
God,
We don’t understand why the attacks come the way they do.
We don’t understand the loss, the pain, or the weight we carry.
But we choose You anyway.
Even in the grief.
Even in the anger.
Even in the questions.
Give us strength to stand when we feel like falling.
Give us faith when doubt creeps in.
And remind us that even in the middle of the battle…
You have never left us.
Amen.
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